Phyall enjoys being a nail technician, hairstylist, makeup artist, and advisor all in one. She spends more time in the beauty salon than she does at home with her daughter. Behind her workstation, she’s installed shelves, carefully numbered the nail polish bottles, and sorted them by color: burgundy, cherry red, forest green, ivory. In the drawer beneath, her tools are lined up: a file, brushes, acrylic powder. She reaches for them with practiced ease, without even looking.

But it could just as easily be syringes, bandages, a stethoscope, or a blood pressure cuff. After high school, Phyall began training to become a nurse in California – until an unexpected pregnancy changed everything. After that, she no longer had the time or money to continue.

A small fortune for a piece of paper.

In New York, Phyall began saving for beauty school. She spent eight months learning various techniques. The diploma cost her $9,000. «I’m not sure it was worth it. I could’ve learned all of this on YouTube,» she says. But the certificate was necessary to get her license as a beautician – a license that could one day allow her to open her own salon. That’s her new dream. «No, you don’t want that,» says Jeanel, rolling her eyes. «Yes, I do. I just want to own it – not necessarily run it,» Phyall replies, grinning and winking at her colleague and boss.

Phyall’s daughter, Taylor, is six years old. «There’s so much happening in her life right now. She’s growing, becoming more independent, learning new things. I want to be part of that,» Phyall says. As a single working mother, balancing family and work isn’t easy. She gets support from friends – other moms – while her own family lives in California, as does Taylor’s father. «We were high school sweethearts,» she says. After graduation, they moved in together. He bought her a car, their daughter was born. «He tries to be a good dad – I’ll give him that. He’s always been a great person, just not a great partner for me.»

Phyall moved to New York for another man. That relationship ended too. «We’re just at different points in life,» she says vaguely. They still share the apartment, but she hopes to move out with her daughter soon. Where to? She’s not sure yet. She recently submitted an application for a housing program. In the U.S., people with low income, disabilities, or seniors can apply for government-supported housing. In the first phase, she and her daughter would live in a furnished temporary apartment – a shelter – before Phyall could search for a place of her own. The state helps cover rent and furnishing costs.

Just one of over a million

When Phyall talks about her future home, she sticks to the facts. She explains how the system works – technical, abstract. You can hear both gratitude and resignation in her voice. It’s easier for her to talk about food stamps. Both Jeanel and Phyall say almost everyone they know relies on this kind of support. Recent data shows that in 2023, 14.3 percent of people in the state of New York received food stamps – over a million households. Only California and Texas reported higher numbers.

For a brief moment, Phyall lets her guard down. She admits that things are really hard right now – being a mother, going through a breakup, starting a new job.
«Sometimes I don’t know how I’m still here,» she says. It has been a tough few weeks, maybe even months.

The facade cracks – but only for a moment

«Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just walk around my apartment,» Phyall says. «I get into my head a lot.» She means she often can’t stop overthinking. Her goal is more self-care – taking better care of herself. «A lot of people think that means having nice nails and hair. I’ve got that. But it’s not that simple.» Maybe she’ll start journaling again. Only recently, she realized there’s still a lot of childhood trauma inside her. «I think I need therapy.»

Autumn Phyall sits up straight again, shoulders back, chest lifted – as if she’s not just correcting her posture but realigning her whole life. «But nothing I can’t handle.» The facade is back.

About the author: Silvana Schreier is an editor at the regional newspaper bz – Zeitung für die Region Basel. During her travels, she worked as a freelance journalist. She lives in Olten.